Still no contact from hospital. I didn’t sleep well last night. I am still trying to come to terms with this devastating news. It is so hard to think positive. I am feeling very angry and made an appointment with my GP. I want to know if I am dying. I want to know if I have a future. I cannot see past tomorrow. He told me that if I used my private health care, it wouldn’t make a lot of difference as the main treatment point and the experts are all in the NHS hospital. I have decided to return to work because the thinking time is screwing up my mind. My doctor has signed me back to work on 16th October.
So I am back to waiting.
My little girl cried today as we returned from my sister Jackies house. She doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad, which is a shame, this is the time she needs him most. She said she didn’t want me to go anywhere and she wished it wasn’t happening. What could I tell her?
This is so difficult, I really don’t feel I am going anywhere.
Wednesday, 11 October 2006
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