No work today

I was all ready to go to work today when the tears started flowing. I have still got Theo banging away inside (Theo is my tumour) and got a little frightened this morning as I got breathless going up my steps towards my car. All silly idiot thoughts started to go through my head like, what if this is it? How will the children cope? and the biggy I don’t want to die!
I called a couple of friends as I was in a panic and got myself around to my sister who gave me a massive hug.
I made an appointment at the GP’s and waited to be called. I told him about the pain and how I was trying to ignore it but I couldn’t today. He listened to my lungs and said they sound clear. That was good to hear, He gave me some pain killers for evenings as that is when it is at it’s worst and assured me that if I needed to contact him again I could. I didn’t see my GP as he was away but this one was very empathetic of my situation.
I then went into work to let my manager know what was happening and went down to sit with my old team (Even more hugs!) They are brilliant, I felt like I needed a kick up the backside to get me out of this hole.
I may go to work tomorrow or leave it now until Monday. I am finding it quite hard to deal with this and trying to get the house ready so we can move and also being a single parent for the first time. It is so hard and so very lonely. I am going to contact my Mc Millan nurse and have a chat. I am sure I will think differently tomorrow, I have a Reiki session and this time I am going to switch my phone off!!!!