Still waiting

I am still waiting for the MoD to let me know about the payout. I am hoping that there will be official documentation next week.
It will be such a relief to be finished with it as it has been 10 months now and with Christmas and new year around the corner, it would be great to have that chapter of my life closed.
I want to concentrate on my children and what I have left of my future.
I still have to sort out my own funeral as I do not want my children to have to do it and that is going to be so hard.
I have a very good friend from work who has offered to help me and I am sure I will need it.
There is one more thing, I want don’t want to be remembered for how I died but for how I lived and this life isn’t over yet!